Sixteen Months (or Separation Anxiety part deux)

Things have improved around here a bit since my last entry. THANK GAWD!!!! You are still not quite back to normal, but the shrill shrieking and fear of being in your crib seems to have subsided. You still require a lot more rocking in the chair and being lulled to sleep than you did before, but I will take it any day over what we went through the last 2 weeks. Besides - I know that sooner than not, you won't want to have these cuddly moments with me anymore. Does it a physically hurt me a little bit to be deprived of 45 minutes of sleep here and there throughout the night? Yes. But I love you so much it mostly just makes me feel good that I can comfort you when you need it.

So the weekend with Grandma and Andpa actually went really well! Though one night you did require Grandma to sleep on your floor (or so she says. I love her dearly but she is a bit random). But it was GREAT bonding time for the two of you. As we expected, you transferred your attachment issues from me to her while we were away. I think she loved every ounce of your neediness. :-)

While they were here you had great fun with their puppy Val. She was so patient with you as you hugged and loved and sat on her. You love puppies so much! You squeal with joy whenever you see one - small and yippy, big and fluffy - you don't care. It's precious.

So here you are 16 months old and I am completely blown away by how much you have grown this summer in terms of development. The way you interact with us, with your sister (OH how you love her!), with your friends at school...it's wonderful! And your understand of what we say to you has grown incredibly as well. I love watchin every minute of it.

You aren't a baby anymore.

iloveyoumadly.
mama

Separation Anxiety

So the last week has been interesting. You went in for your 15 month check-up - all is well! You're tall and skinny. Go figure. :-)

But you also got your shots - and ran a fever for a few days. Of course, we figured it was nothing other than a mild reaction so we didn't do anything. Once again, I win the "mother of the year" award.....you had another ear infection. GAH! Needless to say, we haven't slept much in the past few days.

But last night? Last night was HANDS DOWN THE WORST NIGHT'S SLEEP EVER!

Here's the story:
Grandma and Andpa arrived yesterday afternoon with Val. They are here to watch you and Hads so daddy and I can head to SLC for work for a few days. You were great! Lots of hugs and love for everyone - so I figured this 'separation anxiety' you've been going through might be over. But no. Since Nana and Papa were here last weekend to watch you guys while daddy and I went to Telluride - FOR A VACATION!!!! - the smarty-pants that you are realized that another set of grandparents must mean we're leaving you again. So last night when you woke up - at 11 p.m. - you screamed bloody murder every time I tried to put you back in your crib, and clung to me like a barnacle. So you know what we did? We - OK YOU - ended up sleeping next to me on the air mattress in the playroom, as I watched. No sleeping for me. I know tonight will be some of the same, and I need to get on a 7 a.m. flight. Poor mommy. Please know that I love you madly and feel so badly about making you so upset. But I am still leaving. And you will figure out that it is OK to hang out with Grandma and Andpa for 2 days without me.

I hope you still love me when I get home.

iloveyoumadly.
mama

FIFTEEN MONTHS

Well hello my naughty little nugget. :-) Ok - maybe not naughty. But ....well, mischievous. You are so damn cute - it's what saves you sometimes, I swear. Before I get too far into this entry, let me once again tell you how much I love you. Like "my heart explodes with pure joy" kind of love. I feel it's necessary to mention that because this might sound like I am venting to you about your naughtiness. I'm not - but I think it's worth mentioning in detail so we can recount some of these stories at your wedding. Kidding. Not really.

Issue #1: you bite. At home we see this coming because one of us is almost always playing with you when it happens. And if it is just you and Hadley, even she sees it coming now. This just means that rarely do we need to do more than stop you before it happens. But it's a different story at school. Apparently you've become a bit of an Alpha Female (mama-pride kicks in here) and inflict your powers upon any unsuspecting toddler that gets in your way/sits in the Elmo chair/generally breathes in your direction without permission. I exaggerate - but you get the idea. You haven't broken the skin on anyone yet, so we haven't had to sign any papers or anything. But everyday when we go to pick you up (this is generally Daddy's role)there's the dreaded fear that we'll have to chat with Brittany about your biting. Sigh.

Issue #2: Getting in trouble makes you laugh. And run away. Laughing. Discipline does not work for you. Yet. We'll find a way. This is in stark contrast to your sister who cries if you look at her cross-eyed. it's not like you get in trouble a lot - let's get real - you're 1. You can't get into that much trouble. But you sure think it's funny when we're not happy with you!


But as we shake our heads and (secretly) laugh, we are also overcome with your capacity to love. Honestly B - you are the. most. affectionate. child I have ever known. Just thinking about how you hug me makes me tear up and get all gooey inside.

You are my Baby Bear.

iloveyoumadly.
mama

Hind Sight is ALWAYS 20/20

So you know how I just told you that this week has been hard, and we are trying to be patient as you work your way through this transition? Well it turns out this entire week you were suffering silently with Hand Foot & Mouth disease. You poor thing. I feel so bad. And there's nothing we can do about it other than just ride it out.

I love you nugget. I hope you feel better.

iloveyoumadly.
mama

Fourteen Months

You turned 14 months on Monday! And it was a BIG BIG day. You moved into the Tod 1 room at school. I had to check Hadley's blog to make sure - and I confirmed - that this is a whole month and a half earlier than when she moved over. I bring this up because it hasn't been the easiest transition. But then again, no transitions for you are. You are so sensitive and so loving - just like your sister - but you also tend to form very strong bonds with people you trust. In this case, you formed a wonderful bond with your infant teacher, Diana. So strong in fact that everyone - including Andrea, the Director - was curious as to how you would react to moving over to the Tod 1 room. Andrea thought moving you over "cold turkey" - meaning no 1/2 day visits or anything - was the best route, given your issue with transitions. Daddy and I agreed. But MAN! You are not loving it right now. You quickly formed a bond with Brittany - but that means that anytime someone other than that is in the room, your go ballistic. We'll make it through this - I know we will. A few weeks from now this will all be a distant memory, but in the meantime you're breaking my heart...

On a positive note, you seem to be adjusting to all the other parts of this transition pretty well....sitting at the table for meals and snacks like a big girl, playing outside, circle time....and really, you're even surviving the one nap a day thing! Although so far none of your naps have lasted longer than 1 hour, which makes for an ornery little B Bear at night. :-) On Monday, your first day in the room, at around 10:30 a.m. you found a soft pillow on the floor and fell asleep! According to Brittany this was adorable (it sounds adorable!!) - and lasted about 15 minutes. But other than that, you've taken a nap with the rest of your class on your little bedroll. Hopefully, as you adjust to all of this, your naps will increase in length.

I love you so much baby. It breaks my heart every time we go through one of these "transitions" with you because you just don't like them. But I know we will make it through this, and you will come out the other side my shining star like you always do.

iloveyoumadly.
mama

13 Months

What a big month this has been for you! You are walking. It's official. You still fall down a lot, and you mostly look like a drunken midget with your teetering, but there's no denying that walking is your favorite mode of transportation (aside from being carried in our arms.....). :-) I think that means you'll be heading to the Tod 1 room soon! I have never been one of those moms who doesn't want their kids moving to the next room - I say "Bring it on!" It means you'll continue to expand your horizons and learn how to play and learn with the older kids. I think some moms get nervous because it is such a big change from being pampered and coddled in the nursery to having rules, organized play and eating at the table. But both you and Hads always seem to embrace new opportunities. It is exciting!

One thing we need to work on in the coming weeks is your acceptance of milk from a sippy. You have no issues drinking water in a cup - but you still demand your milk in a bottle. We're working on it - eventually you won't have a choice!

The other transition you seem to have difficulty with is babysitters/separation anxiety. Even though your only babysitters (aside from Ba who isn't babysitting much right now due to her school schedule) are teachers from school (Linnea and Katie) - and people you trust - you are not fond of being left alone at home with them. Especially when it comes to bedtime. Apparently you have given both girls a run for their money at bedtime - something you never do for us. You are such a happy girl 99% of the time - something even strangers comment on about you - but MAN! when you get upset, there's no stopping you until you just wear yourself out. I think the only way to get over this is to continue to expose you to other people putting you down. Oh darn. I guess that means daddy and I need to go out more often.... :-)

I am anxious to see what the next few weeks bring for you. As the weather SLOWLY turns to Spring (I actually think with this ridiculously cold and wet weather we're having that we may just skip Spring and go straight to 98') I look fondly toward the days where we all just play outside and you and your sister chase each other around the yard. What fun you two are starting to have together! There isn't a luckier mom in all the world.

iloveyoumadly.
mama

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!

I cannot believe my baby girl is 1 today! I am so conflicted....thrilled that you continue to grow and develop and amaze me every day. And sad that I won't have any more babies to snuggle and hold. I guess that is the definition of a mama. Maybe you'll find it in your heart to lavish me with hugs and kisses from time to time.... :-)

You are going to walk any minute now. In fact, it could be happening at school as we speak! You are so ready. You find so much joy in being able to quickly stand up and then stand on your own for a few seconds! It is so cute. Your whole world is going to change. Or maybe that's my world..... :-) The freedom we both will find in your ability to walk will be amazing! For you, it will open up so many doors! You'll be able to do pretty much everything your sister can do, and for me it will mean I don't have to carry you around or hold onto you when we're outside watching Hadley ride her bike. You'll be able to run around behind her! (Or in front of her as the case may be!)

I tried very hard to find you a cake with a frog on it. I can't find one. I thought about making you one, and then quickly thought better of that idea. Your party is Saturday - come 4 p.m. you will have some sort of frog-themed cake. I promise. Saturday's attendees include Uncle Brad - your one and only God Parent (at the moment anyway), Aunt Lolly, Uncle Dero, Aunt Mags and Bodhi and of course, your Ba. It should be fun!

I get all teary just thinking about how much I love you. Slow down the growing up a little bit, would ya?

iloveyoumadly.
mama